Tuesday, 27th June, 2017

Software engineer found to love his job, faces boycott

28, Oct 2014 By fightamonkey

Bangalore. A software engineer who goes by the name Americai Tharoor never would have imagined in his wildest dreams that a candid remark from him would make him a social outcast.

“Sorry”

On that fateful day, Americai was having a chat with his peer Ornab Ramasamy in his office about the usual rumblings of the mundane office life software engineers have. His colleague was in for a shock when he heard Americai telling him that he absolutely loves his job and he couldn’t have been happier.

Staring at him in disbelief he asked him whether he meant what he just said, to which Americai replied – Hell yeah. Ornab looked shaken from the root of his spine upon hearing this and went over the automatic tea vending machine and pressed the button which dispelled cardamom tea. He gulped it down his throat in one go and pressed the button again.  He wanted to do it again but there is a limit to how much you can endure, even if it is for free and subsequently let it go.

Americai could not understand what was it that made him behave in the way he just did. He was greeted by silence and a stare that pierced right through him.

The news of Americai loving his job spread like wild-fire in the office premises. But all hell broke loose when the HR department came to know that their policy has finally found an exception.

For the very first time that day the lights in the HR department remained turned on even after 5 PM. The usual blame game ensued as to how could such a slip happen? The top management huddled together to find out what remedial steps is the HR willing to take to not let this spread within the company. But this wasn’t as easy task considering the efficiency of the HR department drops to a negative right after lunch time. But this had to be stopped at all costs. A software engineer by definition has depression wired into him. Even a hint of happiness would mean increase in willingness to learn and prosper and eventually realize that he is too good for the industry. The company was looking at a potential disaster. They couldn’t let the employees take an advantage of this chink in the armor.

Despite all odds that fateful evening, the HR department finally came up with a solution which seemed cruel at the onset but made sense at hindsight. Americai would be made a corporate outcast for his own (well okay, company’s) good. It was decided to boycott him so that he learns the importance of being unhappy and starts cribbing about his job. It was decided that the only communication that will be sent to him will be the useless corporate mails about planting a tree here and planning a conference there till he starts pulling his hair (whatever is left, anyways).

This move by the HR against Americai has found an unexpected support in the name of online job portals. Nomster.com’s CEO Rajdeep Ghose who finished his Old Monk’s stock in one night after hearing about the news, indulged in a fist fight with the curious onlookers asking them weird questions like “Did Mr Modi teach you to be happy with your job?” has finally heaved a sigh of relief after this regressive move was thwarted by the ever so vigil HR and has now gone back to being himself (hic).

Meanwhile, the move has left Amercai stunned and speechless. According to sources, he looked like he has been run over by a buffalo stampede. Looks like in the fight between us and them, HR will somehow have the last laugh.