Thursday, 17th August, 2017

Soft drink MNC confirms people may get cancer when they “open happiness” but will at least die happy

03, Jan 2014 By Vaibhav Anand

Gurgaon: A Gurgaon based soft drink major- that markets its flagship soft drink brand in India through an “Open Happiness” campaign- has agreed that consumers should not open happiness too much unless they wanted to die of cancer.

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Die happy.

Reacting to a study published in a medical journal that found that people who had more than one glass of the drink everyday were 200% times more likely to develop illnesses such as cancer, diabetes, cardiovascular illnesses, etc., the Multi National firm said in a press conference, “We agree that there is a high probability that people who open our drinks will open their lives to deadly long term diseases. The only reason we have made such an elaborate campaign with jingles and videos and all that bringing together of India Pakistan nonsense it to make people forget that what they are drinking are slow acting carcinogens.”

“But people who drink our products would definitely die happy,” the spokesperson added. “That much we can guarantee.”