Faking News investigations into disruptions in transmission signals a day after rains lashed Mumbai have revealed that there was no technical lapse at Tata Sky but this year around it was one of its HR executive who had gone caput.
In a candid conversation with this correspondent without suspecting of being reported, the executive narrated how he executed his sinister plans.
“It was raining outside when I spotted two customer care executives taking back-to-back smoking breaks. Another one was found carrying a Chetan Bhagat’s novel while entering the canteen. I knew that as a responsible (in)human resource professional, I had to put my act together lest my seniors spot them too,” said Vinashak Kumar, a fresh recruit in Tata Sky’s HR Department who wanted to make his seniors feel that he had ‘arrived’.
“During my induction at Tata Sky I was told that the attrition rate was at the peak every year during the monsoons. The Power Point Presentation shown to the new recruits included videos of absolutely normal customer care executives who started sounding like Farhan Akhtar and even worser Farah Khan after two days of handling calls from customers facing disrupted services of Tata Sky,” he said.
Vinashak added that his predecessors had got good offers from Airtel and Videocon DTH immediately after monsoons as they had ‘worked’ hard enough to retain disgruntled customer care executives, some of whom were contemplating committing suicide after being subjected to thousands of cuss words from customers.
“If there were no disruptions in relay this year, how would I get to inflate my CV and get at least 40 per cent hike at rival companies? So before my dream could shatter, I rushed to the server room and plugged out at least half a dozen devices and disappeared for a break,” he said.
Vinashak got the ‘jhingalala’ experience once he returned after the 10-minute break. “All I could hear were the executives gasping for breath and phone lines ringing one of the another with hundreds more in waiting,” he said.
While at least three executives were reportedly admitted at a suburban hospital for sudden loss of voice, Vinashak was spotted updating his Resume which soon will be spammed to potential recruiters.