Thursday, 22nd June, 2017

RBI to stop making coins and start manufacturing Toffees instead

22, Nov 2013 By iamgreat

Ahmedabad: In a serious threat to Cadbury’s, Perfetti, Parle, Nestle, Dabur and its likes RBI has announced that under the visionary and path breaking leadership of Raghuram Rajan they will stop making coins completely and instead start manufacturing chocolates. This is touted as a move that could turn the tables on such confectionery companies and also the state of affairs that Indian rupee is in.

New coins in the market.
New coins in the market

When contacted the RBI spokesperson confirmed the same. He said the move was revolutionary in its own sense and added that a year later they also plan to venture into Shampoo pouches, oil, etc and the necessary market surveys and capacity building was on its way. He added that it was in concordance to a multi pronged strategy to help the Indian economy and Rupee revive and achieve new heights.

He added that they were also to delve in Gutkha Khaini, Zarda ityadi etc but their chief Strategist MUKESH (the man who gives people a cushion for being late to movies) had shifted to movie industry hence they had dropped the idea for now.

Critics have bashed this move saying that this move would not be economically viable, quality of toffees would be questionable and that government had no business producing toffees rather than looking at major issues.

An emotionally charged Raghuram Rajan responded : “What does HLL do?? Is the governments’ business to produce condoms of all things?? HLL claims to have generated sales of 1234567890 units last year. If its products were of good quality why should India’s population be so high ?”

adding he said “India has other glorious examples like HMT (watches), Parliament (bullshit), Elections (crap) etc and when their existence has never been questioned then why for this move.”

To be in sync with his IIT IIM image Raghuram Rajan rationalized this move in an exclusive interview with Faking news said that

1)      People mostly use candies, toffees etc as a parallel currency for transactions below 5

2)      Anyways people finally use coins to buy Toffees and such related stuff.

3)      Foreign companies get the benefit of such denomination induced forced sales, saving outflow of rupee.

4)      To promote the intent that the government actually wants to be sweet to its people.

5)      Using manpower under MRNEGA scheme to produce, promote and distribute chocolates, hence generating employment.

6)    Looking at the calories that toffees contain, nutritional deficiencies could be taken care of.