New Delhi: Most of the famous rat poison companies are going out of business ever since the presence of lead and MSG, Monosodium glutamate not Saint Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Ji Insan were revealed in Nestle Maggi. People are no longer resorting to rat poison rather they are using a much more lethal weapon called Maggi which decimates rats like the way kids decimate biscuits kept only for the guests at their houses.
The stocks of rat poison companies on share market were already crumbling but they crashed badly when a man named Rahul Kejriwal attempted suicide by eating a full family pack of Maggi all by himself to take his precious life.
“We already had a problem in killing rats with our poison no matter how poisonous we make it, the max we could do was to make the rats feel giddy and constipated so that made them go out of the houses for some fresh air but it was believed worldwide that rat poison is the best thing for suicide trails for humans and now Nestle is entering this market, we won’t let this happen and we will sue them,” owner of the rat poison company “Maar Saale ko” told Faking News.
He further said, “Nestle is playing dirty games, I mean, how could they manage to get such a dangerous thing, MSG, in their product. All the people who went to see his movie ended up getting Dengue and Chikungunya. I had a cold for 10 days after watching the trailer.”
When Faking News contacted Nestle, the spokesperson said, “I guess we were meant to rule this market of poison. The rat poison companies no matter how hard they try cannot make a poisonous enough product and we on the other hand unintentionally make an awesome poisonous product. I believe this is a sign from the above (pointing to the Maggi manufacturing department on the 3rd floor) since we have no option now so we will enter this market.”