Mumbai. A leading lead manufacturing company has issued a press release today strongly condemning the ban of Maggi in India. When Faking News reporter visited the company for the first-hand news, the spokesperson was seen chewing a pun intended healthy portion of the 2-minutes fast food delicacy.
“Who knows lead more than we do? We are the leaders in lead manufacturing. I can guarantee you there is no lead in the delicacy that you see me chewing,” the spokesperson assured the puzzled reporter.
“See! We are the foremost manufacturers of lead in the country. Year after year, we beat our completion by tons of lead bricks and coils. We cannot achieve this feat only with the capacity of our plants in India. So, we turn to the help of fast food products like Maggi. For the past several years Maggi has been the single most supplier of lead to our manufacturing plants,” the spokesperson revealed the inside story.
“Our state-of-the-art misleading equipments will extract out all the lead there is present in a pack of Maggi noodles. The bowl of Maggi you have seen me chewing a while ago was from one of those leadless packs. Of course we don’t eat all the packs, after taking the lead out but we certainly make sure not a single pack will go wasted. It is part of our benefits package and for instance, I get to take home a whopping 1500 packs every month,” the spokesperson revealed further.
“Now, on the million dollar question about whether the lead in a pack of Maggi is above or below the permissible level for human consumption, I don’t know. But, I do know this. The supply of lead from Maggi to our plants is well above our expectations and that keeps our company in the first place in all the quarterly results.”
“The ban puts our company at a great risk. We strongly oppose the ban. We sincerely request the legal bodies to consider all socio-economic factors before declaring ban on any product. For instance, when some soft drinks were banned a few years ago, a lot of farmers had to suffer due to the sudden cut-off in the pesticides supply. Know what I mean?” the spokesperson concluded his monologue even as he offered a freshly made bowl of Maggi to the Faking News reporter.