Monday, 29th August, 2016

Lay's and MBA students condemn 'Selling of air' by petrol pumps

11, Sep 2013 By PJ

Lay’s and MBA students have vehemently registered their displeasure after watching a video where a petrol pump meter was running with just air coming out of the dispensing pipe.

In a statement released at Frito Lay India corporate office, at Gurgaon, Vasudha, chief R&D officer said “Over the years Lay’s has pioneered the art of selling air through its packets of chips. We have been promoting healthy eating by reducing the fat content (called chips) over the years, without reducing the prices. Off late we were deeply disturbed by watching a video showing petrol pumps in western UP selling air. We will consult legal advice over whether it can be treated as an IP infringement.”

Lay’s found voices of support in thousands of MBA students across the country, who are learning the art of selling air via their marketing plans submitted for different competition in a desperate attempt to get a CV point.

“Over the months we have a developed a list of words, which when inserted into any presentation, makes us sound intelligent. E.g. Marginal, Viability, Coherence, Synergy, Positioning, Augment, Benchmark, Cash Cow, Hypothesis etc.”, said Santosh, a first year student at one of the IIMs.

“Earlier this year, Mickey Arthur asked Australian players to prepare a presentation, then Rahul Gandhi asked Congress election ticket aspirants to make SOPs (statement of purpose), and now this! It seems art of selling air is being treated as a joke by all these people”, commented Santosh’s angry friend Ravi, who is now being covered under Anger Management bill brought up in parliament by UPA, earlier this week.

Barack Obama has suggested that this is a potential security threat to United States, and cited this as an additional and totally rational reason for international community to support his decision to attack Syria.

Meanwhile a group of scientists from NASA noticed a significant increase in the air density in the upper stratosphere, which has been reasoned out as potential illegal ‘air mining’ at Mars and subsequent import into the earth’s atmosphere.

At the time of publishing of this report Akhilesh Yadav’s office staff was drafting notices to be sent to NASA, requesting for the suspension of these scientists, blaming them for potential communal harmony disturbances at Mars and some other planets, yet to be discovered by the mankind