It ought to be a lavish affair with who’s who of underworld fraternity turning up in full attendance when the biggest boss of underworld, Doubt Abraham threw a lavish Momo Bash at his Malaysia Residence yesterday evening.
Ever since India has been witnessing continuous Bans on food products, underworld black market has reported 150% growth in their business turn over. If sources are to be true, a few MBA interns from HBS were recently hired by Doubt himself to analyze the whole investment model on banned food items of India with major focus on Momo. When we contacted the Spokesperson of Doubt Abraham, he replied in a positive way and emailed us back including this line “absolutely no doubt about anything as we have full confidence on adamant and traditional great leaders of India”.
Taboo Salem and Small Rajan who were out on parole happily posed for the shutterbugs. When our correspondent in Malaysia got a chance to interview them about the whole Momo saga, Taboo Salem, looking dapper in his maroon colored velvet suit, crisp white shirt and matching maroon colored bow exclaimed with excitement, “I am a big fan of Beef Momo myself! Especially, I go crazy when I get to eat it with Whiskey sauce. I love Momo more than I love Menaka Bedi or any other girl”. This bold statement was followed by a sly smile.
Food bans in India has turned out to be a big boon in the Underworld illegal market. According to the latest statistics reported by IIPM School of economics and finance, the sale of Beef in the underworld black market has skyrocketed, with ridiculous figure like 500% in terms of profit and has surpassed other sales including the top rated products like Opium and Heroin. If sources are to be true the aforementioned HBS interns came out with a mind boggling presentation on “how Momo business in the underworld black market is going to be a huge disruption in the entire World”. They have claimed to have done huge primary research interviewing topmost Ganglords of Mexico, Brazil and Russia who are highly addicted to Momo to finally come up with the conclusion and recommendations. For a record, this project was completed overnight as soon as the BJP legislator Ramesh Arora of Jammu and Kashmir declared Momo to be harmful cancer causing addictive street food on June 8th 2017 and proposed a ban stating how it is affecting a cultured country like India. Doubt Abraham personally attended the presentation and declared permanent jobs for the interns including a grand bash to celebrate the new upcoming Business with super high prospective.
Meanwhile, Rahul Gandhi along with his sycophants were reportedly feasting on Momo in a remote Jail in MP to protests against the Government on Momo Ban and recent Farmers’ row. We tried contacting Congress Spokesperson and specifically had asked whether it was Beef Momo. He replied back saying “Unfortunately, our dear Rahul Baba is a pure vegetarian and he believes that Momo Ban is going to affect not only the youth of Delhi but also the Farmers who cultivate wheat to make Momos”. Arvind Kejriwal personally replied back stating that it is all Narendra Modi’s conspiracy against India and common man of India. Shashi Tharoor preferred to keep it short and sweet with the reply “Thou shall take Momo out of my Delhi or my nation. But thou shan’t take my Momo out of my heart and soul till my cessation!”