Thursday, 23rd November, 2017

Flipkart business plan for upcoming season including TrillionPaiseMinute sale

12, Oct 2014 By Fakerazzi

Some pertinent facts first

  1. UPA era industrialists are busy selling their businesses or wrapping them up.
  2. Sony, LG etc are fuming at Flipkart for undercutting them and unwilling to let their inventory go there.
  3. Robert Vadra got lands for very cheap due to astute business mind.
  4. Flipkart needs to reclaim its name.
  5. Power plants, devoid of coal blocks and Mobile operators, without 2G licenses, will soon be on block for cheapest buyers.
  6. People need land to establish  1000o startups in new 100 smart cities and most importantly to create toilet infrastructure for those.

Its fair to assume then that

  1.  Flipkart needs to venture out in some other domain than cheap electronics.
  2. Fact # 1 implies that Robert vadra will soon start selling his land parcels in bulk. You know the bad times, vengeful and crappy government means that these parcels cannot be utilized lawfully.
  3. In the new era of SC ordered auctions, power plants and mobile companies cannot be sold without transparent auctions and what is better for price discovery than famed 5000 server Flipkart platform.

The strategy by Bansal duo (or trio or multi-io) is thus to start flash sales of vadra guest houses and vadra flats in DLF properties. Considering their cheap acquisition rates, they are expected to go in very competitive prices. Seeing the limited availability, rush is sure to crush the servers which will be considered by Flipkart has having given fair warning to its users that its famed infrastructure is still humble against the realty lover Indians.

This will be followed by the Baap of all sales, TrillionPaiseMinute sale of realty, power and mobile companies at never before unbelievable 99% discounts. The users will be expected to have taken training from superman in typing skills and have the super quick reflex span of 0.00001 femtosecond to book the deals being offered. Flipkart has meanwhile teamed up with Lenovo this time to deploy IBM’s Watson and SmartPlanet mainframe based infrastructure to handle the rush. Watson would predict the flow in real time and mainframes will route it from everywhere using the versatile COBOL technology stack for future. Numbers of servers to be added for this day has been kept confidential and will be revealed in the followup excusatory mail. Flipkart may acquire TOI floated magicbricks.com, number 1 portal undoubtedly, before this sale to augment the server numbers. After all, magic is at play here and cloud are mirage to be ignored always.

Rivals Maakan.com, Dukaan.com, RealtyLoverSoftwareEngineer.com, Amazon etc are gearing up with their own 2 for 1, floor area back, free parking space, bureaucracy free, vaastu compliant offers for real estate properties. Amazon is thinking to acquire 99acres.com to mock 99% numbers of flipkart after the expected fiasco.

Good luck getting your dream home. Please do not forget also to buy Home furnishings, renovation and upgradation packages along with top end Mercedes AMG, home automation, swimming pool automation solution, Lifetime nanny and maid service, 7 life membership of shaadi.com, country club membership, smiling family with verdant garden space, Italian kitchens, Malaysian furniture and Bose home theatre thunderboxes.