Monday, 23rd April, 2018

Employee shocked to discover his goals before appraisal; admitted to hospital

15, Apr 2014 By Vaibhav Anand

Mumbai: An employee with a software firm recently went into shock after actually discovering what his goals for the year actually were, before his annual appraisal.

The employee in question – called Tadapit Kumar – had been working for the firm for five years, ever since he joined the firm from his engineering college campus but had never actually seen what his goals were and instead had been simply doing what his boss asked him to do.

“What was I doing so far?”

“All of us do what our team lead or his boss asks us to do even if it means removing dog poo from their shoes,” a friend of Tadapit said, on condition of anonymity. “Sure, we do fill in some generic crap on the Career portal every year, but that’s mostly for show.

No one except Tadapit has actually seen their real goals. And now see what has happened to him… he has gone mad. He is chanting ‘goals, goals, goals’ from his hospital bed.”

“No no no… we are not shutting down our Indian operations here, everything is normal,” Chadhha, Tadapit’s manager said, when accosted by this Faking News reporter. “Tadapit was not actually supposed to see his goals; it was just a minor software glitch. I assure you none of our firm’s other products have any glitches at all.”

This Faking News reporter managed to gain access to Tadapit’s hospital ward, to seek his version of the story as well. “I actually saw my goals for the first time,” Tadapit kept repeating from his bed in the mental patients’ quarantine ward, looking as if he had seen God.

“It was fleeting but beautiful,” he said, with tears of joy in his eyes. “Every year, Chadhha would tell me I had not met my goals without telling me what they actually were. But this time, I saw them… I actually saw them!”

And with that he relapsed into a senseless chant, “Goals, my goals, my goals,” an expression of awe plastered on his face.