Friday, 15th December, 2017

Corporate training session turns into a massacre, several feared dead

23, Mar 2015 By frustmanoos

New Delhi: A seemingly innocuous corporate training program in Delhi degenerated into a street style gang war yesterday when the trainees & trainers clashed with each other. The resulting fighting left at least 6 dead and more than 5 people injured. At least 2 people are believed to have been admitted in a mental institution for psychiatric care. The HR manager of the company has been arrested by the Police as they try to get to the bottom of this case.Our reporter, Charkha Dhatt spoke to employees and trainees to get the scoop for herself. This is what she has gathered.

The program titled “Conflict Resolution at Workplace” is a standard feature of the company’s training calendar. However, there were some differences compared to earlier times when this program was held. For starters, the participants had been asked to make their own arrangements for travel and stay, unlike before when they had been flown in Business Class and put up in 5 star hotels. They had also been asked to contribute some token amount to be pooled to pay for the stationery and other requirements.

Welcome to the jungle!
Welcome to the jungle!

Our sources tell us that the participants, already upset, got the shock of their life when they realized that the program was going to be held at Bapuji ka Dhaba in Chandni Chowk. We believe that the participants were already bristling with rage when they reached the venue after taking a DTC bus, then the Metro and finally a cycle rickshaw.

What considerably worsened the matter, was the welcome speech by the HR manager who spoke of “Cost Consciousness”, and “Superior employee welfare” in the same sentence. By now, the weary and famished participants were already half mad with rage. However, what turned this loud discontent into mutiny was the request of one of the participants to eat one plate of Dahi Bhalla. Readers may note that Bapu ka Dhaba is located right next to the world famous Chattu Chaat Bhandaar. It is safe to assume that the participant was tantalized by the smell of various chutneys wafting through to the Dhaba and could not rein in his desires. We are given to understand that this request was brutally rejected by the HR Manager who scoffed at the perennial hunger and desire for free booze that the participants bring to any training program.

In a matter of seconds, the Dhaba was reduced to Kerala Assembly. The participants threw jugs, glasses and even charpais at the HR Manager and his team of trainers. The HR team, not to be outdone, called on Gundas from the “HR Managers’ Rights protection Committee”, who mercilessly assaulted the participants. 3 participants died when the HR Managers pushed a buffalo which was tied outside the dhaba on them. 3 trainers died when a group of participants hurled a Molotov cocktail made of Lassi, Jal jeera and nimbu pani towards them. 2 external HR gundas were hurt when a participant threw freshly prepared, hot dal tadka at them. 3 other participants suffered minor injuries.

2 HR trainers lost their mental balance on realizing that they would not be able to deliver the training programme for which they had burnt the midnight oil for at least 1 week. They have been taken to Agra Mental Hospital for further treatment.

Company MD in a statement expressed his horror at this massacre and underlined the importance of holding a programme on Conflict Management to prevent repeat of such a situation in the future.