New Delhi. Mr. Chinta Money (name changed to protect privacy and reflect attitude), a first year student of a well known B-School, who until a few days ago was happily attending all the pre-placement talks of various business firms in the country, in the hope of bagging the best offer in campus, has in a bizarre turn of events opted out of the summer placement process.
Although initially reluctant to comment on his sudden change in stance, upon realising that coverage in a newspaper could be a valid CV point, Mr. Chinta Money promptly agreed for a one on one interview.
“In all the talks that I attended, the Vice President HR of the company kept stressing upon the need to understand the business world and current affairs in order to develop a healthy perspective. Fully aware of the slowdown in hiring, I in consultation with my peers came to the conclusion that FDI in retail would be the topic of discussion in Group Discussions(GD) and Personal Interviews (PI).” Consequently Mr. Chinta Money, in a fit of desperation, watched each and every news bulletin on Ji News and read all the articles in popular news dailies.
However, all media sources were full of contradictory and confusing sources of information and opinion. Even the political class is yet to come up with an attractive slogan like “FDI Lao, Garibi Bhagao”, which could have been used in GD.
“I mean, I also attended three lectures of Macroeconomics, yet I have not come up with a path breaking solution to the whole issue despite googling FDI explained and even visiting the second page of the search results”. Even Wikipedia, which often is the starting as well as the end point of all research that MBA students do, has disappointed bitterly.
Sensing that he was unable to form a definite opinion, he e-mailed stalwarts of the field like Digvijay Singh and Arindam Chaudhuri. Digvijay Singh was promptly sent a lengthy reply to his mail, mentioning why Rahul Gandhi should be the next PM but was unable to recall what the full form of FDI was. Arindam Chaudhuri sent a short reply reading “Dare to think beyond FDI”. In addition to the mail, Mr. Chaudhuri also sent a link to IIPM’s website whose world class faculty could clear all his doubts about FDI. This was followed by a series of phone calls by sweet talking young women, where Mr. Chinta Money was asked to enrol into IIPM’s PGDM course or miss out on a life changing opportunity.
Mr. Chinta Money noticed that all his friends were of late having a lot of meetings behind closed doors, which he suspected was a GD practice. However, his friends dismissed those claims and revealed that they were only discussing the probable name of the next cultural fest they could organise, in order to attract attractive female talent from nearby colleges.
Frustrated by his inability to understand FDI and the ghost of his poor academics, Mr. Chinta Money realised that he would not get a decent summer intern in corporate offices in Mumbai, from where he could spend quality time with his girlfriend. Instead, he could be sent off to some remote location like Munger, where he would have no multiplexes to watch the latest movies in.
“I understand that it is better to opt out of summer placements, and survive on my father’s well to do business in Delhi, where I could easily get a fake experience certificate made mentioning superfluous achievements, which would help in my final placements”, Mr. Money said with a confident smile.
The placement committee of the college is also happy with this development. “We can now mention in our placement report that one student opted out of placement and pursued his entrepreneurial dreams. This makes for a good reading on the website too”.
“Only B-Schools have the talent to paintbrush a tragedy into a win-win situation”
Photo Credits – http://churumuri.wordpress.com/tag/fdi/