Wednesday, 21st February, 2018

American e-Retailer stocks may rise on Indian offer to buy 100,000 drones

11, Dec 2013 By insatire

Drones are to be used in the next general election in India if leading national parties have their way and if Mr. Bezos is willing.

Taking a cue from Jeff Bezos and his recent revelation to American media that he plans to use drones to deliver Amazon shipments, two leading national political parties The Handisfull National Alliance and The Righteous Party  have decided to use drones for the next general election.

This writer has it from informed sources that both parties have discretely and independently sent senior party functionaries along with a couple of leading businessmen who support them by charter aircraft belonging to the latter, to meet Mr. Bezos with a request to get these drones ready and into production before the 2014 general elections in the country.  Both parties have made an offer of $ 10 billion in cash to Mr. Bezos if he can produce an initial 100,000 drones for them.

The said parties, not really being short of funds, are wooing Mr. Bezos with this promise of early adoption and are asking for exclusivity or at least getting the initial 10000 units delivered to them first.

If you are curious about how the drones will be used, this reporter has also got an early insight into their thinking.

Here are the Top 3 uses as proposed by the think tank of The Handisfull National Alliance;

1-      Program the drones to airdrop leaflets of the party manifesto into remote areas where their SUVs cannot go, exhorting the tribals and villagers to vote for their candidates.

2-      Use the drones to drop ship goodies of various kinds, in the dead of the night, including cash, gift coupons and so on that could be exchanged for TV sets and jewelry, amongst other things.

3-      Fit the drones with radios which will then be made to fly at low heights, in by-lanes, slum areas and other such party strongholds, with the drone (loud) speakers blaring party slogans, reminding citizens that their ten year rule had resulted in prosperity for many, and Bollywood songs.

The Righteous Party think tank meanwhile decided on just one powerful idea;

Modify the Drone. Build a light weight polymer mask of their popular candidate and cover the drone with it and fly it across the length and breadth of the Indian hinterland. The mask would have a movable mouth and a smile and it would spout wisdoms, catchy phrases, economic data and remind people of the inefficiencies of the earlier government. This would be done in multiple languages depending upon which state it was flying over. Technology permitting, this would also be made to hover over 50,000 villages all at the same time and the mask would drone at people, on Sunday mornings.

STOP PRESS: The newly formed Mango People on Shoestring Party (MPSP) meanwhile seems to have got wind of these developments. Since they lack the funds and experience of these two much larger and richer parties they have approached Mr. Bezos via email (only) and are sending him an email every few hours with a request that they become the beta site for the test drones and they were willing to work with just 500 of them.

Jai Ho.