NEWSWIRE

The Bangaloreans were in for a shock today morning as they woke up. They could not believe their eyes. The city was spick and span, not a piece of dust or garbage to be found anywhere. People were scared to walk on the footpath. Some people started feeling giddiness as they were not used to the  fresh and clean air. Many fainted and some started complaining of nausea. We sent our reporters to find out what caused all this and report ASAP. Here is a report of what had transpired overnight.

Last night the Chief Minister had taken a tour of the garbage filled city and could not believe his eyes. He realized that while he was busy running up and down to Delhi to report his homework to Madam and pushing aside those who were trying to pull his leg and pulling the rug from under his feet, the BJP had filled the city with garbage. He could not control his famous temper and lashed out at RSS for instigating people and throwing all its garbage in his city.

The Head office at Nagpur could not take this lying down. When their own house is filled with filth and dirt and they don’t know how to clean it up, here is a rubbish allegation. They were sure all this is a conspiracy by the heir apparent to add to the dirt. They stated that a foreigner has no right to cast aspersions on them. They were at their sarcastic best when quoted ” Elephant won’t care for the barking dogs.”

Mayawati, who was with her dress designers, selecting her apparels for her swearing in at Delhi, barged into the street and charged Mulayam for calling her names. She dared Akhilesh to come clean first instead of using CBI in connivance with Congress to frame her.

Madam Jayalalithaa, who was preparing her acceptance speech for the thanksgiving party hosted by the BJP poster boy, rushed out. She could clearly sense her enemy  glaring at her from his dark glasses and threatening with a CBI poster. She pompously declared ” Where will  be a Nano car  in front of a bull dozer?”

Didi heard the word Nano and slapped the officer standing next to her. ” This is all the game being played by Narendra Bhai to gain my support. I would rather support CPI than to go with Communal Phorces.”

Kerala Chief Minister could not control his anger and anguish. He knew Shashi Tharoor would not let him sleep peacefully in God’s own country. He declared “Everybody from Kashmir to Kanyakumari knows that I am innocent.”

Farooq Abdullah blurted, “Kashmir is ours – I and my daddy own it. I would rather go to Manasarovar than answer questions about our integrity and patriotism .”

Uddhav could not believe his ears? Manoos? Did I hear Marathi Manoos? And who is stealing our word Patriotism? What is Raj up to? Does he think I am sleeping?

Dave Gowda got up twisting his face and cursing everybody for making fun of his sleeping. Holding his TV remote for a mike he came out declaring  ”Kaveri is ours. I am Mandyada Gandu. Siddaramaiah is Chief Minister only because of me and he should respect me and do as I say.”

Siddaramaiah’s  face  turned vicious as he turned around and threw the mud he was holding towards Gowda who retaliated. Soon there was a free for all with each one throwing mud at everybody else. But soon they could not find any mud and when they reached out all they could put their hands on was the garbage. Yeddyurappa hesitated for a second, remembered the mud on his face thrown in by all his detractors and started throwing garbage in every direction.

Everybody else grabbed the initiative and thought, why search for mud, this garbage is easy to grab and can do wonderful damage and easy to hit the target. Soon the garbage started flowing thick and fast in all the directions and only when they could not lay their hands on it any longer each of the Neta retired.

The public, the citizens of the garbage nay garden city are outraged. Like Kamal Haasan of Pushpaka Vimana they are not able to breathe, sleep or think properly. They have decided to bring BJP and Yeddyurappa   back to power to regain their peace of mind.

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Report filed under:

Politics


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