NEWSWIRE

A gruesome episode unfolded today when a group of irritated people threw a self proclaimed drunk godman Nasaram Bapu into a lion’s cage in Ahmedabad.

The cage was inhabited by a lion, a lioness and a cub. Sources said that the group of people, highly annoyed by lewd statements of moron public figures, had planned this in advance and were glued to their TV sets since morning, waiting for one such statement.

Unfortunately, Nasaram Bapu chose the wrong day to get high. Sources close to him confirmed that not only was he drunk, but he had also smoked pot before climbing the stage to deliver the fateful speech.

The irritated group, as it likes itself to be called, watched the speech with great interest. After the speech was over, members of the irritated group got into their cars to reach the spot of deliverance. On reaching there, they found certain people pulling Nasaram down from the stage as he had gotten uncontrollably high.

The irritated mob posed as Bapu followers and helped him get into one of their cars. They drove to a nearby zoo, bought entry tickets, rushed to the much dreaded lion’s cage and dumped Sri Sri Nasaram Bapu over there. What followed were gruesome, barbaric, and gory events.

Eyewitnesses claim having seen the godman lend out a hand to the lioness calling it his sister. His palm was chopped off, rendering him unable to clap for the rest of his life.

But it did not end there. He turned to the lion and started blurting out some sort of mantras, praying to the lion, to spare his life. The lion looked amused, gave him a what-the-fuck look before reaching for his throat and piercing its claws and teeth into them.

Befuddled, onlookers dialed 100, but the line was busy. Having seen its parents overpower the prayers of the godman the cub too joined the feast. Nasaram Bapu died a horrific death.

Meanwhile Nasaram Bapu’s followers were jolted by the incident as they could not fathom how the prayers went unheard. Towards the end of the eventful day some explanation was given by Nasaram Bapu’s bapu Sri Ramram Bapu.

He said, “Nasaram was equally at fault with the lions. He, incidentally was wearing a transparent dhoti, giving a good view of his fleshy calf muscles to the lions which provoked them to attack.”

The irritated group is now frantically in search of Ramram Bapu. The lions foresee another feast.

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Report filed under:

India


12 Responses to “Godman seen praying to the lion after being thrown into a cage”

  1. Bolaram January 8, 2013

    Is this supposed to be funny?!!!

    Reply
  2. Excellent satire. Deserves to be on the mainstream Faking News or maybe I’d take that part of the disclaimer “unusually better in quality” as the qualifier for this article.
    Good job Sourabh

    Reply
  3. Wow!! Superb use of metaphors. Could’ve been a bit more subtle, but I guess the author was going for the jugular. Well done.

    Reply
  4. Excellent sarcastic article…

    Reply
  5. What next? Bapu orders girls to give handj*** and blo****s to molesters in their area and wash their feets everyday to prevent being raped? He could even escape something like this

    Reply
  6. Prateek January 8, 2013

    Wish it were true.

    Reply
  7. tani lall January 8, 2013

    good for him…. Mambo jumbo shithead.

    Reply
  8. Not Funny.. Try Again

    Reply

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