NEWSWIRE

Internet Hindus, long regarded as the biggest villains in the country by Indian journalists & social media experts are all set to be recognized on a global scale with the James Bond franchise announcing that Internet Hindus will be the main villain in the next James Bond movie.

A spokesman for the Bond franchise said, “Since James Bond is the best spy there is, he has to target the biggest evils in the world and we have it from confirmed sources that Internet Hindus are the biggest evil in the world at the moment. We have added license to troll to his existing license to kill so that he can troll the Internet Hindus out of cyberspace.”

Sagarika Ghose

Reports that Sagarika Ghose, who claims to have coined the term “Internet Hindus”, could be the next Bond Girl were found to be baseless. Ms. Ghose later claimed that such baseless rumours were spread by Internet Hindus.

He further added, “The success of Skyfall in India prompted us to look for an Indian based theme for our next movie and the only thing wrong in this otherwise perfect country was the presence of Internet Hindus.”

Though we haven’t been able to get the exact storyline but rumor has it that the next Bond flick will show Daniel Craig logging on to Twitter & Facebook and fighting Internet Hindus by mocking them and abusing the ones following him via DMs 24 X 7. Daniel Craig has already approached leading expert on everything, Mr. Su Hail for advice to prepare for the role.

The franchise has also started looking for actors who can play the role of Internet Hindu in the film. However, the first person they approached, Anil Kapoor has declined the offer to star in the movie. Anil Kapoor later told this reporter, “I have heard that Internet Hindus don’t show their face and remain anonymous & hidden. I have already done 2 movies where people didn’t see me, Mr. India & Mission Impossible – 4. I don’t want to get typecast.”

The franchise is also planning to rope in Ph.D. holder on Internet Hindus, Dr. Paparika Bose for expert advice on the storyline. When asked whether it will offend Hindu sentiments in her native India, Dr. Bose said, “No, not at all. Internet Hindus have nothing to do with Hinduism or any other religion. People from every religion can become Internet Hindus by criticizing me. To be honest, sometimes I think my own husband is the Numero Uno Internet Hindu as he keeps criticizing me over my tweets.”

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