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Worried about facing possible class action litigation from its male graduates IIPM today issued a statement that that they will henceforth issue laptops only to female students.

Although IIPM officially said that this was to attract more female students into its fold Faking News came to know that it was actually triggered by male IIPM students worrying whether use of laptops might have sterilised them following a recent report that the use of laptops reduces sperm count.

IIPM spokespersons quoting Honorary Director Arindam Chaudhuri in a recent interview in Business Today said “Engineers comprise 80 per cent of the IIM classroom, and there are hardly any girls” and we definitely want to change that so that people can dare to think beyond IIMs.

While we charge Rs 14.25 lakh for the IIPM’s flagship programme, and Rs 18.5 lakh for the three-year integrated programme we throw in a laptop for free within that and what’s more the laptop comes preloaded with the new Microsoft OS specifically targeted at the Indian market.

We have entered into a special deal with Microsoft to ensure that all IIPM female students have the option of changing the Control Panel icon to her own image from that of Sonia Gandhi. The laptops also had an application for playing book cricket with e-books since that’s what IIPM students love doing. It also saves the jobs of teachers who are mostly IIPM alumni by keeping the students quite.

“As you know Sir fires teachers who complain that the students are rowdy or unmanageable so that the placement record of the institute can continue to be good” the spokesman said.

The spokesperson also mentioned that this development had given IIPM its first break in consulting for the public sector and Kapil Sibal had engaged it to research if Akash tablets could be used as an option for population control.

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