Faking News in a startling scoop today found out that it was Rahul Gandhi who had decided on the new distribution of portfolios in the recent cabinet reshuffle. Faking News managed to get a copy of the internal deliberations of the party on the choice of new ministers and one of the most interesting revelations was the reason behind choosing Salman Khurshid as the new Minister for External Affairs.
It seems that Rahul Gandhi proposed, seconded, and 2.5ed Khurshid’s candidature. He said “I have a great respect for Mr. Khurshid and in deference to his wishes I have agreed to accept the no.2.5 position since I am still not in a position to accept the no.2 position as I intend to continue to appear in cameos. My change of heart has come since Mr. Khurshid declared his intention to work in blood and this being the 50th anniversary of our famous war with China”.
“As you know, just as my grandmother created Bangladesh my great grandfather created Aksai Chin and gifted it to China in a gesture to strengthen the slogan Hindi Chini Bhai Bhai. However, his detractors parodied it to Hindi Chini Bye Bye” Rahul Gandhi told the gathering of senior congress leaders.
In an insightful burst of erudition he said “I am sure you are aware that the People’s Republic of China is commonly known as Red China. With our Minister of External Affairs working in blood which is red in colour, we are sure to establish our ties with them once more”.
“This time though we will rephrase the slogan to Hindi Chin Behn Bhai so that if they play dirty we will take them to the International Court of Law on charges of incest” he told the gathering, explaining his strategy to the gathering, “we will also educate them about Groucho Marx who was the only Marx that my late father knew of since the Chinese have not heard about him being overly obsessed with Karl Marx in order to make them more friendly”.
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